nwclax's Xanga

where i'm at

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 21:06:38 GMT

so life has been interesting. i'm no longer overseas and i am no longer in ohio. it was a weird feeling to move after being home for only 3 weeks. so far i haven't really enjoyed st. paul. i don't really know anyone--or at least have any friends up here. sure i have some aquaintances but that doesn't give me something to do. i've been extremely bored over the last 2 weeks, although it was good to see friends at nwc. i am struggling big time with depression due to loneliness. i know that is the cause but i'm not too sure how to fight against it. i know i'm not alone by any stretch but it feels like it most of the time. i'm looking forward to starting classes--this is the most motivated i've ever been to do well in school. i'm also looking forward to getting a job. not that i want to go back to cvs, but i am. i hate retail work. well i think thats about all i have to update on. i'll be writing more--hopefully--once i start class and have some things to think about. shalom.

-mike-

the ones that give us a bad name

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 13:50:47 GMT

i've heard a lot, recently, about a family of christians from kansas or something like that who are extremely 'conservative.' they have been shown a few times over in the UK and most people think they are completely nuts. it is no wonder christians from the US get such a bad name when the only representation that is given is the nut jobs. this family is completely into condemning people--i don't get it. they go around saying that people are going to hell--even a mass amount of people who would consider themselves christians. they have clearly missed all the biblical references to 'love' and 'compassion.' they are so full of hatred and judgment and condemnation i wonder if they have actually read the bible. i know they have but they have completely missed a lot of what jesus taught. it seems to me they would be more equated with pharisees and trying to live the perfect life by the law. i fear they will be the ones who end up in hell because they will be judged how they judge. send out a prayer that God will soften this families hearts along with the other people that are in the same place as they are. i don't like saying who is in and who is out, but they make it extremely difficult to try and say they are in. may God have mercy on them.

divine intention...

Wed, 30 May 2007 19:38:31 GMT

is a book that i just got and the author is having me do a review. i would highly reccomend the book to anyone who is disenchanted with church. his insights on how the vision of the early church should shape us today, not only in church but in our personal lives, are quite challenging. he knows how to ask the right questions at the right time. for someone like myself who has been doing nothing but bitching about the insitutional church for the last 4-5 years, it is extremely challenging. it forces one to actually get off their butt and do something about it. it challenges one to move past the criticisms and finally push through to do what God wants you to do. if you get the chance, get a copy of the book and read it.

a need for humility

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 15:13:19 GMT

i have come to the conclusion that i am too prideful. i have realized that i need to humble myself in an attempt to stop being so reactionary against conservative evangelicalism. i need to admit that i may be wrong about some things and that it really is ok if you don't think the same way i do. i know i've been saying those things for a while now, but i need to actually practice what i preach. i don't really know where to start, but i figure reading scripture will be a good place to start. i will attempt to clearly define what i believe--or if i don't know, i can say that without shame. it is going to be a long road to recovery but i need to get started. pray.

missing the point???

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:21:10 GMT

i've been reading a lot about the whole heaven/hell thing recently. also, with the easter holidays now just past, i have been thinking about what Jesus' main goal was. i think at some point we have missed the point of Jesus life, death, and ressurection. do you really think that the biggest reason for Jesus was for our eternal life? i'm not thinking that anymore, although i've never really been taught differently. i am beginning to think that Jesus was a lot more about the here and now than the then and there. for me, Jesus was more about teaching us how to live the way we were originally meant to live--in complete harmony with one another. if you look back to Genesis and take a look at the first few chapters, you will see the transformation of human interaction (i.e. the fall). sin, to me, has become something so much more than just an offense against God. i think the reason that we are seperated from God is because we are seperated from one another.

when christians talk about being born again or about being saved, i think they need to remember just what they are being born again too and being saved from. it isn't about the heaven/hell debate, its about how you live. sin seperates us even when it is the littlest thing imaginable. every sin has a negative to how it affects yourself or you and someone else. maybe when we talk about being born again we should be talking about what it means to have a new viewpoint on life--one that is no longer self-centered but others-centered. maybe when we talk about salvation and being saved we need to talk about the healing of ourselves from our own transgressions--not about being saved from the fires of hell.

Jesus, to me, was a lot more about getting us to see that we should be making earth a place where heaven can be. he wasn't about getting out of here to go to heaven. i think we have missed the point completely, or maybe i have. but i feel that i know God in such a better way when i think of Him this way rather than in the way of getting souls into His heaven.

seminaries

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 00:40:45 GMT

so i've gotten into the three seminaries i applied to after being turned down by western. one of them was basically a backup if i didn't get into the other two, so i'm not really considering going there. however, i really don't know which one of the other two to go to. i am really up in the air on both of them. mars hill would be great because i like their philosophy on seminary education. but i don't know if i want to live in seattle. bethel would be good because it would be closer to home and closer to nwc so i would be able to visit. as far as the educational experience at bethel, i would probably get frustrated. it'll depend on a couple different factors for which one i eventually choose. sometimes i just wish God would be more direct in telling me where i am supposed to go.

pharisians

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 23:21:29 GMT

so i wrote this saturday night when i couldn't sleep. let me know what you think. please.

Going on 5a.m. Too tired to still be awake—yet I feel God’s presence so I am writing. As I finish The Last Word and The Word After That for the second time I am starting to really evaluate what I’ve been taught about Jesus and His glorious good news. Its not that what I’ve been taught is necessarily wrong, but I am starting to see so much more.

Is the gospel really about heaven and hell? Is it meant to be a new law that shows us how to avoid hell? Its not, but that seems to be what it is about nowadays. Seemingly, we care a lot more about the life after earth than we do the life here on earth. We want people to be ‘saved’ so that they will experience heaven after their life on earth. We want to be assured of our place in heaven after our own life on earth. We have completely lost our sense of ‘being blessed to be a blessing.’

Christians have used Jesus’ name, throughout history, to do some pretty horrible things—all because ‘we’re in, they’re out.’ The muslims were evil so the crusaders killed them in the pursuit of land. The nazi’s killed so many people because they were dispensable in the ‘perfect race.’ The inquisition killed all those who thought differently—the outsiders. Slavery in the U.S. said that black people weren’t equal with white people. Racism, genocide, and many other things had been carried out because we’re in, they’re out.

But wasn’t Jesus more about inclusion rather than exclusion? The Pharisees were the ones who excluded the masses. If you didn’t live up to their standards you were excluded. Jesus hung out with all the people the Pharisees were excluding. And because He did that, He was excluded—eventually He was hung on a cross. My question is—how can we call ourselves Christians when we have failed to actually follow Jesus? Perhaps we should be called pharisians.

I’m starting to view Jesus as so much more than my ‘saviour.’ Yes, He is my saviour, but in such a different way. He isn’t my saviour in my after-life, He is my saviour in this life. What if Jesus never really was about the after-life? Yes, He talks about it, but I’m starting to think that’s not what He was really after—He cared more about what we do now rather than where we go then.

When the Pharisees tried to use hell language to scare people into not sinning they were excluding people from being able to know God. They cared more about sins than they did about caring for people. When I reflect on Jesus saying He came to fulfil the law and the prophets it makes me wonder what the purpose of the law and the prophets was. Then I think maybe the law was there to try and guide the people into living lives to be blessed to be a blessing. Was the law established to avoid sin and be perfect or was it established to help the people life with care for one another and the world around them?

Jesus, to me, seemed to care more about treating people with love, mercy, and justice. He didn’t seem to say that if you don’t live the law to the T you will be eternally tormented. He seems to show that the law is there to help you treat others, and God, with love, mercy, and justice.

This brings me back to Jesus being my saviour of this life. He saves me from myself. When I choose to pick up my cross and follow Him, He is saving me from not treating people as He treated them. Without following Jesus I would be so caught up in myself and my own well-being that I forget about the well-being of those less fortunate than me. He saves me from myself.

I’m going to briefly look at how sinning affects how we treat others. When one lusts and takes part in sexual sin he is doing a couple of things. He degrades the other person. Takes away their respect and dignity as a human being. He is also seeking sefl-gratification. Concerned more about himself than the people around him. When one gets drunk she is once again trying to gratify herself. She may become someone she is not; she may say things or do things that harm those around her—emotionally or physically. When one gossips, they are hurting someone’s reputation and trying to make themselves feel better. Perhaps not sinning anymore is really about the benefit of the world rather than our own destination after life on earth.

When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray, I think He was also teaching them how to live. We are supposed to want God’s will to be done here on earth as it is in heaven. And yet we are more concerned with hot to get to heaven than how to let heaven get to us. This brings me back to Genesis. Before the fall God’s will was one earth—heaven was here on earth, God was on earth. Shouldn’t we be more concerned with hot to get God back on earth instead of trying to get to God in heaven? When Jesus talks about the kingdom of God/heaven being here and now, we should be thinking, ‘God you are walking among us, help us help you walk with others.’ If Jesus was God, He was back on earth; walking, talking, and eating with humans as He once did back in the garden of eden. That is whatwe should be doing; making earth as it was before the fall.

The other thing that comes from the prayer is how to treat people. We are to forgive as we have been forgiven. If God can look past all the things that we do to separate us from Him, then we should look past what separates people from us. It is reconciliation at its best. Let us forgive people and reconcile with them so we can be in community with one another. If Jesus could hang out with people considered ‘sinners’ we should be doing the same thing. We should forgive them for what they have done, so that we can consider each other friends.

This brings me back to hell. We want to be able to send people to hell if they are sinners—its almost as if we’re happy that we know they aren’t in (especially homosexuals and all things relation to abortion). When Jesus is talking about the kingdom of God/heaven He isn’t talking about the after-life. When He talks about inheriting the kingdom of God/heaven, I think He is talking about people not being able to help the world become whole again, as it was before the fall. The joy one finds in helping further God’s will in the here and now is like no joy one can find in self-gratification or excluding people.

Now I want to discuss how this should infect our lives. No not affect but infect—it should consume us. Just imagine a world without greed, racism, genocide, hatred, etc. How amazing would that be? Imagine if us Christians became so obsessed with justice and mercy that we quit fighting about dogma. Imagine if we lived a life trying to help out the poor and oppressed that those we helped wanted to know why. Imagine if we had open doors to everyone to be healed from themselves. Wouldn’t this be more effective in doing God’s will than fighting over dogma? It seems to me that if we lived this kind of life people actually would want to know who Jesus really is, instead of who we’ve made Him out to be. Jesus was revolutionary. He turned the Pharisees arguments on their heads; He didn’t affirm them. It is my prayer and my plea that people would stop being pharisiams and start truly being Christians—true followers of Jesus and the message He brought us.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 17:40:10 GMT

so these are the tattoos i've gotten since i've been in northern ireland...and me when i died my hair pink for a fundraiser we had for the youth centre i'm working at. hope you enjoy them.

feeling like a heretic

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 02:09:57 GMT

sometimes i really feel like a heretic. but am i? so i don't always know if what i believe is biblically based. and i don't always know what i believe. i was talking with a friend tonight about a variety of things. one thing was truth--as far as religion is concerned. i simply asked if it is possible that God has revealed him/herself through different religions so that different cultures could meet him/her. sometimes i wonder why we as christians get the only claim on truth. is that so wrong to think about? and we have been talking a lot about the holy spirit lately, around here. i don't exactly know what to believe about the holy spirit. mostly our conversation has been about our differences about what being filled with the holy spirit means. i think i might be out on my own though. to me being filled with the spirit isn't much different then having the holy spirit in the first place. but that doesn't seem to register well with others--and with me half the time. sometimes i wonder if my perception of what people think about me is accurate. i don't really know what people think about me, but i do know i tend to over-analyze things. maybe people don't think i'm a heretic; maybe they do. oh well, it isn't their opinion that matters anyway, right? so i've rambled, i apologize. be blessed.

words of wisdom

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 21:29:13 GMT

i got this in an email from one of my aunts tonight and i thought it was dead on. when i fail to see a perspective it is great to have someone outside of the situation put in back in perspective for me. thank you aunt jen for the encouragement and words of wisdom.

Consider this:

Is it more important to convince others of your beliefs, or to love
them in
spite of your differences....

Is it more important to be right, or be compassionate....

Is there more value in "pretending" to beleive something you don't to
appease others... or in leading by example, in words, and deeds, while
at
the same time, supporting others in finding a relationship with God
that
works for them... not you.

There will always be people who disagree with us. The question is not
so
much WHAT we believe, but WHO we BECOME when faced with those
differences.....

Every decision we make takes us down a different path...no particular
path
is "right" or "wrong", just different, with different lessons to learn.
But
aren't all these lessons for our highest good, given to us by Divine
Intelligence (God)?